According to the last entry it's been a year since I updated this beeyotch. &while it feels that way, technically it isn't. I just decided to block all of the other entries.

Hmm...don't know why I picked tonight to update. Life is life...I guess. I really don't know what to say about it. Nothing extravagant has been going on.

I'm still interning with the The State (for those who don't know, it's South Carolina's largest newspaper). &while I halfheartedly still do want to be a journalist, I changed my major to biology because like Czerne told me, going journalism for undergrad is waste of time. To write, all I need to know about are the conventions of writing. &Like she should def. know. She majored in chemistry at Emory before she decided to go to J-school for graduate studies. So I've been thinking about premed and becoming an ophthalmogist. I really want to travel to Africa and help out with the trachoma/triachiasis crisis. Ever since I read about that in the NY Times it has been at the back of my mind.

So...yeah, I'm gonna major in Biology and like, every summer intern somewhere so if I still want to go into communications, I can. On my "List of 100 Things to Do Before I Become Ill & Die" is to work for the Cannes Film Festival. So maybe I'll work there and at some other very chik magazine since I have become addicted to them lately.

I spend all of my money buying magazines and newspapers. I swear I should be a fucking genius. Like, why did I graduate salutatorian and not valedictorian again? But on the list I also have down to learn how to drive a stick shift...and even that's not working out. Oh, and I'm also learning how to raise one eyebrow, you know so I can make that "what the hell?!" face.

Yeah, entirely too much time on my hands. But now that I have a job I have to watch my language. Ya heard that employers are checking people's blogs to see whether or not to hire them for the job. You still can't come on to cyberspace and be yourself and not give a fuck about anything.

Wow, the more things change the more they all stay the same.

~L.

(edit)sorry guys for deleting everything. the pics are gone.(/edit)

Him:Girl, you should come ova -n- chiiiieeell wit a playa...
Me:Negro, puh-leez. Wait a minute, you drunk?
Him:But I'm saying, why'z your momz be trippin' likez dat? She needz sum Akrite.
Me:I don't know, but get up off my mom.
Him:Whu? You gon' do sumthin'? Knuck if u buck, homegrl!

You know, I have said a whole lotta dumb phrases in my life, and I've repeated some awful stuff just because I heard it on the radio or because I know I can pull off saying some of the craziest things. But knuck if you buck? lleH no.

Shara, Keyo, Kieston, and I were talking about the dumbest ish ever invented...by black people. & we had to top off the list with that stupid Crime Mob song that debuted in the summer before we started the school year. The song is ok. But the fact that people take the words literally is a shame. You won't catch me telling a girl I'm about to fight to KNUCK IF YOU BUCK! What is the world coming to?

In other news, this year finally became the year for white tees, pink tees, black tees, t-shirts in general. Anyone who owned a T-Shirt officially became "off da chain" and not to mention grimEE. Meaning they could easily get some goodies. They were all in the club spittin game in their white tee Yup! We even had a white T-shirt day at school. &that ish was bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

But school has just been a hotel for me. A place to stay during the day. Nothing unusual or fascinating about it. I think the administrators and staff members fail to realize how much they are motivating us to go out and reach beyond the ordinary everyday we walk in and see them with their dull lives and teaching skills. Graduation was the crunkest occassion I'd ever witness because I'd never seen people so determined and happy to get out of their little hometown.

The last day of school ended with a brawl &you left with a sense of amazement after realizing, This is my school. So that means I'll have to go through this all again next year. x10.

Reasons to smile.

Lil Wilz, he's gangsta!

 

Yes, it's me again giving another try at this whole express your feelings to the world and let your thoughts be known blogging process. I don't know why I always end up quitting any online blog or diary that I start. I just get sick of it all and sick of trying to pretend that I'm someone I'm not.

Because you know how you visit a certain xanga or website, and they seem to have it all going on? Beauty, social life, parent relations, friendships...the whole 9 yards? When in reality they're just posting only the pictures capturing their grace and lovely looks. Only wiring the stories they want for the readers to know. &I'm no different. I try to sketch out a more than perfect life sometimes. Eek out a little niche where even if I don't feel like a goddess or like I was ever going to amount to anything, I could always come to cyberspace and be the shiznit so to say.

&it was good while it lasted. But then you see the big picture and when times get hard you think to yourself, Who am I kidding? &the answer: myself. Because you all don't know me. All you know of me is what I choose to let on. Things that I've forked over and chosen to put on display to declare my life to the world. In the end you realize, all of those things were ephemeral. A high because I ended up with 6 comments or 16 eprops. &those people probably didn't read the whole entry. Probably just scanned an area and chose to elaborate on that. Offer condolences to me about someone they don't even know. Someone they probably would detest if they were to meet them in actuality.

So, I'm starting anew. No more pusillanimous fears of coming off as a no one because I'm not as skilled in webdesign, as dramatic at writing, as cool in life. I'm learning to be me, and document it accordingly. What good are lies? They serve no purpose but to stall behavior sometimes but then they corrupt life. Take the F out of life and you get: lie. That means no fulfillment, fervor, fun, no feelings. You're just left with emptiness.

You have now entered my extended network. Where everything I say is real & genuine.

~L.